Mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys

For the last several weeks, when I count the number of cars in my driveway, I keep coming up with the number 3.  No matter how I add it up, I get 3.  When I'm in the house and passing one of the front windows, I stop and count, just to be sure that my math was right.  Three, three, three.

But how could this be?  There are only 2 drivers in my house.  I count 2 drivers because I am psychotically delusional and in major denial, not because I am bad at math.  I count 2 drivers because I am not ready to face the fact that my son is growing up.  He HAS grown up.  There internet, you got me to admit what I have been denying for some time.  My son is about to get his drivers license.  And we have a car waiting for him in the driveway.  It is a constant reminder of that fact that he has been teetering on the edge of manhood for some time, and the scale is tipping in a direction that I am not entirely comfortable with.  Wasn't he just 5 years old a few weeks ago?

I have to admit that I wasn't very exciting about getting him his own car.  Was he mature enough for it?  Would he be responsible enough?  Would he be tempted to have sex in the backseat?  Would he use this car to drive over the state line so that he and his friends and his preachers daughter girlfriend could go to a club where dancing was legal?  If only that were the least of my worries?

As I'm writing this, I'm wavering back and forth between feelings of pride and taking deep breaths so that I don't burst into tears and start sobbing like a little bitch. And I don't just feel this way because I am about to get a visit from Aunt Flo.  I'm feeling this way as I'm watching Jr. wash his car. For the last hour.  He is just now waxing it. Wax, on wax off.  Mr. Miagi would be proud.  He started this process without being asked.   He has washed the windows, inside and out.   His pride in ownership is casting light on how the future could be.  A future full of responsibility.  A future full of doing the right thing.  A future full of inexpensive car insurance due to good grades and no tickets.  A future full of him doing right more than wrong because maybe, just maybe his pops and I taught him up real good.
 

 
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